1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,317 (POP MUSIC) 2 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,837 ♪ When I first saw you ♪ First time 3 00:00:14,837 --> 00:00:17,798 ♪ My knees started to shake ♪ Quiver 4 00:00:17,798 --> 00:00:21,350 ♪ And I had a funny feeling ♪ Feeling 5 00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:25,353 ♪ In my kidneys and my liver ♪ Digestive system, baby 6 00:00:25,353 --> 00:00:28,830 ♪ My hands started to shake ♪ Shaking 7 00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:32,151 ♪ My heart started pounding ♪ Boom, boom, boom! 8 00:00:32,151 --> 00:00:35,471 ♪ My breakfast left my body ♪ Huey, hey, hey 9 00:00:35,471 --> 00:00:38,074 ♪ This all really means something to me 10 00:00:38,074 --> 00:00:40,515 ♪ Girl, you make me dumb ♪ Attached to the tongue 11 00:00:40,515 --> 00:00:42,238 ♪ Attached to the tongue 12 00:00:42,238 --> 00:00:45,596 ♪ Every time you are near me ♪ Near me 13 00:00:45,596 --> 00:00:47,238 ♪ Tongue tied ♪ Tongue tied 14 00:00:47,238 --> 00:00:48,992 ♪ Tongue tied ♪ Tongue tied 15 00:00:48,992 --> 00:00:51,310 ♪ Whenever you are in town 16 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,197 ♪ I saw you on the dance floor ♪ Dance 17 00:00:58,197 --> 00:01:02,114 ♪ I thought about the birds and the bees ♪ Reproductive system, baby 18 00:01:02,114 --> 00:01:05,272 ♪ But when I tried to talk to you ♪ Speak, speak 19 00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:08,989 ♪ My tongue rolled out to my knees ♪ Flippety-flippety-flop 20 00:01:08,989 --> 00:01:12,470 ♪ I tried to say "I love you" ♪ I love you 21 00:01:12,470 --> 00:01:16,189 ♪ But it went wrong, darling ♪ Wrong, girl 22 00:01:16,189 --> 00:01:18,271 ♪ It sounded like "Noo-noony-nee-noo" 23 00:01:18,271 --> 00:01:21,591 ♪ Attached to the tongue Na-ner-ner-ner-nee-nung, nirl 24 00:01:21,591 --> 00:01:24,353 ♪ Because you make me mute ♪ Attached to the tongue 25 00:01:24,353 --> 00:01:26,032 ♪ Attached to the tongue 26 00:01:26,032 --> 00:01:29,430 ♪ Every time you are near me ♪ Near me 27 00:01:29,430 --> 00:01:33,149 ♪ Be-dobby-durgle, dobby-durgle ♪ Tongue tied, tongue tied 28 00:01:33,149 --> 00:01:35,629 ♪ Whenever you are around 29 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:45,199 ♪ Oh, I beg on my knees 30 00:01:45,199 --> 00:01:49,193 ♪ Sweet, sweet darling, listen, please 31 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:53,671 ♪ Understand me when I say 32 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,398 ♪ Bedurble Diggle Doggle- dooby-doggle-durgle-day 33 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,188 ♪ I'm trying to say nungy-nangy ♪ Nangy-nongy 34 00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,077 ♪ Ningy-nongy 35 00:02:04,077 --> 00:02:07,232 ♪ Why can't I tell you clearly? ♪ Clearly 36 00:02:07,232 --> 00:02:09,151 ♪ Be-dobby-durgle ♪ Dobby Durgle 37 00:02:09,151 --> 00:02:10,958 ♪ Durgle dobby ♪ Durgle dobby 38 00:02:10,958 --> 00:02:12,712 ♪ Whenever you're around... ♪ 39 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,840 - It's not that one. - What is not? 40 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:22,550 I'm looking for this dream that I had on the dream recorder. It was sensational. 41 00:02:22,550 --> 00:02:25,837 - What was it about? - Me, three girls 42 00:02:25,837 --> 00:02:28,480 and a pot of banana yogurt! 43 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,791 You cats have a strange attitude towards women. 44 00:02:31,791 --> 00:02:34,235 Say what, polehead? 45 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:38,799 It's all sex. No feeling of settling down, long-term relationships. 46 00:02:38,799 --> 00:02:43,510 Hey, as soon as I find the good little group of girls, 47 00:02:43,510 --> 00:02:48,196 the seven or eight women who suit me, my days of wandering are over. 48 00:02:48,196 --> 00:02:50,271 See? Totally unsuitable. 49 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:53,193 That's rich coming from the man whose favorite book 50 00:02:53,193 --> 00:02:56,477 is “How to Pick Up Girls Using Hypnosis”. 51 00:02:56,477 --> 00:03:01,429 There's nothing wrong with that. It's a good book and it works. 52 00:03:01,429 --> 00:03:03,511 Get out of town! 53 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,709 This is how I met Lorraine. 54 00:03:08,709 --> 00:03:11,439 Did you hypnotize her for a date? 55 00:03:11,439 --> 00:03:16,640 Yes. I gave him the old one Technique "There is something in your eye", 56 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:22,431 fixed her with the gaze of the Mesmer... and bingo, she agreed to go on a date. 57 00:03:22,431 --> 00:03:25,398 - What was wrong with her? - Nothing. 58 00:03:25,398 --> 00:03:28,756 Come on. She went out with you. 59 00:03:28,756 --> 00:03:31,638 She was an attractive and brilliant young woman. 60 00:03:31,638 --> 00:03:33,711 This MUST work, then. 61 00:03:33,711 --> 00:03:37,759 - Of course, she had an artificial nose. - What?! 62 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:42,152 Oh, tastefully done. Quality metal, no rivets. 63 00:03:42,152 --> 00:03:47,360 - Come on, what happened? - Things were a little stilted in the taxi. 64 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,796 My jokes about his nose didn't go down well. 65 00:03:50,796 --> 00:03:56,193 They were quality gags, like, "Where are we going? Who's nose?" 66 00:03:56,193 --> 00:03:58,271 No cheap shots. 67 00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:02,114 Anyway, at the restaurant, she had a nervous breakdown. 68 00:04:02,114 --> 00:04:05,954 She went to the bathroom and climbed out the window. 69 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:10,397 - I wonder why. - Not because she didn't love me. 70 00:04:10,397 --> 00:04:13,552 She called and said she would like another date, 71 00:04:13,552 --> 00:04:16,359 only she had to move to Pluto. 72 00:04:16,359 --> 00:04:19,512 You're a sad busybody, Rimmer. 73 00:04:19,512 --> 00:04:22,910 No, I'm just uncomfortable around the opposite sex. 74 00:04:22,910 --> 00:04:27,073 You see them as aliens be conquered by trickery. 75 00:04:27,073 --> 00:04:32,314 They are people. You don't need books on hypnosis and... what is the other one? 76 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,960 “1001 Fabulous Chat Lines.” 77 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,874 Lister, these chat lines are guaranteed. 78 00:04:38,874 --> 00:04:43,590 - There is nothing like that. - All right. You're a woman, okay? 79 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:49,879 Alone in a bar, short leather miniskirt, peephole bra... 80 00:04:49,879 --> 00:04:51,951 OKAY. Go on. 81 00:04:51,951 --> 00:04:56,318 This is the most amazing chat line you've already heard. 82 00:04:56,318 --> 00:04:58,914 - Go on. - OKAY... 83 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:05,079 Excuse me, would you like join me for a cocktail? 84 00:05:05,079 --> 00:05:07,993 - No. - You can't say no. 85 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:12,035 - You have to say yes. - Ah OK. ALL RIGHT. Go on. 86 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:18,555 - So, do you want a wormdo? - What is it, then? 87 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,154 - What is this ? - A verdo. 88 00:05:23,154 --> 00:05:27,199 - What about it? - Is this still the opening line? 89 00:05:27,199 --> 00:05:30,829 - You are not giving the right answers! - What is this? 90 00:05:30,829 --> 00:05:34,833 I say, “Would you like a cocktail?” You say yes.” 91 00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:39,232 I say, “Do you want a wormdo?” You say: "What is a wormdo?" I say... 92 00:05:39,232 --> 00:05:42,630 - “It squirms like that.” - You know it! 93 00:05:42,630 --> 00:05:47,475 You couldn't pull out a rotten tooth from the head of a dead horse with that. 94 00:05:47,475 --> 00:05:50,597 - Eureka, I did it, - Did what? 95 00:05:50,597 --> 00:05:53,069 The Earl of Sandwich invented sandwiches, 96 00:05:53,069 --> 00:05:55,151 Samuel Morse invented Morse code, 97 00:05:55,151 --> 00:05:58,073 Plato invented the plate,,, 98 00:05:58,073 --> 00:06:02,199 and now me, Holly, invented the Holly Hop Drive, 99 00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:07,638 - Ooh, I can't wait to see it (!) - It’s monumental, that’s epoch-making, 100 00:06:07,638 --> 00:06:11,633 It can transfer any object instantly at any other point in space, 101 00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:15,508 - What? Can we return to Earth? - In seconds, 102 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:20,151 You mean we can go back to Earth at the moment? This moment? 103 00:06:20,151 --> 00:06:23,118 - Straight ahead, - Rock and roll! 104 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,230 - Is this? - What do you think? 105 00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:42,949 It's just a box with "Stop" and "Start" on it! 106 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,671 It's quite simple, 107 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,675 If you want to start it, press "Start",,, 108 00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:53,230 You can sort out the rest yourself, 109 00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:56,312 It's absolutely pathetic. 110 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:00,036 Okay, Let's Holly Hop, Engage drive,,, 111 00:07:00,036 --> 00:07:02,839 Drive engaged, Start ignition sequence,,, 112 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:06,230 - Ignition sequence initiated, - Go ahead. 113 00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:11,030 It takes time, that's a mistake in none of my 13 billion calculations, 114 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,156 we will be reduced to pieces, 115 00:07:13,156 --> 00:07:16,915 Here we go, so, Ten,,, Nine,,, Eight,,, 116 00:07:16,915 --> 00:07:19,639 - Six,,, Five,,, - You forgot seven. 117 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,115 Did I? I've always had a blind spot with the seven, 118 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,708 We are going to die. 119 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,518 No problem, I'll start lower, 120 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,511 A,,,Takeoff, 121 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,955 We made it, we're home, 122 00:07:40,955 --> 00:07:44,874 - Did it work? - We are on Earth? You're kidding! 123 00:07:44,874 --> 00:07:47,235 Half a month, 124 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,434 - Here we go, - What has? 125 00:07:50,434 --> 00:07:54,229 The Earth is missing, it is not there, 126 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:58,719 Wait a minute, I was looking out the wrong window, 127 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:04,238 No, it's gone, The entire solar system is missing, 128 00:08:04,238 --> 00:08:09,269 - Well, what is actually there? - Nothing, just space, 129 00:08:09,269 --> 00:08:15,799 Holly, the thought happens that we haven't actually reached Earth. 130 00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:20,590 Extra thinking happens that we haven't moved an inch. 131 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,076 No, no, we have, 132 00:08:24,076 --> 00:08:28,278 It's just that I don't know where we are, I flamed, 133 00:08:28,278 --> 00:08:32,956 - What? - It's like a cock-up, only much bigger, 134 00:08:32,956 --> 00:08:35,873 Wait, there's something, it's another ship, 135 00:08:35,873 --> 00:08:39,077 - Extraterrestrials! - (LIST) Hit him. 136 00:08:39,077 --> 00:08:43,199 - It's an exact copy of Red Dwarf, - Huh? What happened? 137 00:08:43,199 --> 00:08:45,271 Somehow - don't ask me how - 138 00:08:45,271 --> 00:08:50,354 - we have entered the fifth dimension, - What is the fifth dimension? 139 00:08:50,354 --> 00:08:54,479 Didn't they reach number six with “I want your love thing”? 140 00:08:54,479 --> 00:08:58,758 You have your basic dimensions - length, width, depth and time, 141 00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:01,195 The fifth dimension is that of coexisting realities, 142 00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:04,750 two bodies sharing the same space, not knowing each other, 143 00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:07,912 It looks like my parents are in bed. 144 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:12,678 So it's another Red Dwarf, with another Rimmer and Lister? 145 00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:17,754 - Will they be exactly the same? - No, there will be differences, 146 00:09:17,754 --> 00:09:22,436 - What do you mean? - In this universe, Hitler could have won the war, 147 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:26,911 or even more incredible, maybe Ringo was a very good drummer, 148 00:09:26,911 --> 00:09:31,312 Wait, I'm connecting with his computer, 149 00:09:31,312 --> 00:09:34,949 - Hello, my name is Hilly, - Hello, I'm Holly, 150 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,952 - Hello Holly, - Hello Hilly, 151 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:43,068 It's a turning point, you better boogie on and sort, 152 00:09:43,068 --> 00:09:45,151 Straight ahead, sis, 153 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,708 - See you, Hol, - See you soon, Hil, 154 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,871 I am here, 155 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,472 It is identical in every detail to our Red Dwarf! 156 00:10:11,472 --> 00:10:15,838 Very funny smell around here which I don't like at all. 157 00:10:15,838 --> 00:10:19,959 It smells like your moon boots. I'll get rid of it. 158 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,831 It's mine. It's mine... 159 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,358 So where are the other Rimmers and Listers? 160 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,235 So you are not aliens. 161 00:10:33,235 --> 00:10:35,880 - Hi. - Hi. 162 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,075 - How do you do? - How do you do? 163 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,869 - You must be Lister? - You too. 164 00:10:45,869 --> 00:10:49,714 - You must be Rimmer. So I am. - Splendid. 165 00:10:49,714 --> 00:10:51,870 - Start. - Dave. 166 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:53,518 -Arnold. - Arlene. 167 00:10:53,518 --> 00:10:55,556 Indeed ! 168 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:15,679 So, your universe is exactly the same as ours... Can I? 169 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,352 Yeah. 170 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,111 Only everything is... opposite? 171 00:11:23,111 --> 00:11:27,159 I don't know if everything is opposite. It looks like this. 172 00:11:27,159 --> 00:11:30,391 Do you come from a feminized society? 173 00:11:30,391 --> 00:11:33,711 Well, it's not exactly geared towards women more, 174 00:11:33,711 --> 00:11:38,874 not since the 60s, the “Equal Rights for Men” marches, 175 00:11:38,874 --> 00:11:41,155 when they burned their jockstraps. 176 00:11:41,155 --> 00:11:43,037 Stop! 177 00:11:43,037 --> 00:11:46,157 Haven't you read "The Male Eunuch" by Jeremy Greer? 178 00:11:46,157 --> 00:11:50,472 So your story also parallels ours? 179 00:11:50,472 --> 00:11:53,632 So who was the first person on the moon? 180 00:11:53,632 --> 00:11:55,676 Nellie Armstrong. 181 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,797 NELLY Armstrong? 182 00:11:58,797 --> 00:12:02,589 - So... who wrote Hamlet? -WillShakespeare. 183 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:07,037 - Ah, so it was a guy. - No, Wilma Shakespeare. 184 00:12:07,037 --> 00:12:11,671 She wrote all the greats - "Rachel III", "The taming of the shrimp"... 185 00:12:11,671 --> 00:12:14,320 My God, what is this? 186 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,676 - The monthly My Camera magazine. - It's disgusting! 187 00:12:17,676 --> 00:12:22,072 It's full of half naked guys draped over sports cars. 188 00:12:22,072 --> 00:12:25,709 you are not one of those boring masculinists, right? 189 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,398 So, sexual attitudes are also opposite? 190 00:12:30,398 --> 00:12:33,074 What is this, my cupcake? 191 00:12:33,074 --> 00:12:35,196 Your little what?! 192 00:12:35,196 --> 00:12:40,673 It just looks ridiculous! These models are extremely distorted. 193 00:12:40,673 --> 00:12:43,877 It makes you feel completely...inadequate. 194 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:50,233 - Don't worry about that, my darling. - They can touch each other! 195 00:12:50,233 --> 00:12:55,269 Hey! I hate to interrupt the party, but isn't someone missing? 196 00:12:55,269 --> 00:12:59,876 - What do you mean? - Well, Lister, woman across the way. 197 00:12:59,876 --> 00:13:03,236 Rimmer, woman in front. Where is mine? 198 00:13:03,236 --> 00:13:06,517 Oh. Mooching around the loading decks, I think. 199 00:13:06,517 --> 00:13:12,277 Ouch! all my life I waited for this moment, and now it has arrived! 200 00:13:12,277 --> 00:13:18,469 Hey, if you hear me scream, do NOT come to the rescue! 201 00:13:18,469 --> 00:13:19,469 Ouch! 202 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,632 ♪ I'm going to have you, little chick... ♪ 203 00:13:23,632 --> 00:13:27,110 - I think he's going to have a shock. - For what? 204 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:30,272 - Its opposite is not feminine. - What is this? 205 00:13:30,272 --> 00:13:32,351 It's a dog. 206 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,879 Oh my! Where did they go? 207 00:13:36,879 --> 00:13:41,238 I'm getting so freaked out when they leave me all alone. 208 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,390 Damn these fleas! 209 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,433 ♪ I'll have you, little chick, 210 00:13:46,433 --> 00:13:50,035 ♪ I'm going to have you, little... ♪ 211 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:59,952 I don't know what it is, but I'm sure he wants to eat me. 212 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:05,236 Well, trash my shorts, what a funny dog! 213 00:14:05,236 --> 00:14:08,118 I better make myself look big! 214 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,115 Put it there, buddy... 215 00:14:11,115 --> 00:14:15,557 God! What kind of toothpaste does he use? Rotten meat flavor? 216 00:14:15,557 --> 00:14:19,269 Come on then. I want to be your friend! 217 00:14:19,269 --> 00:14:24,593 Tell you what, I'll feel your butt, then you can feel mine! 218 00:14:24,593 --> 00:14:28,992 - Is this a deal? - You want to smell my WHAT?! 219 00:14:28,992 --> 00:14:32,197 Why, of course! Don't you want to feel me? 220 00:14:32,197 --> 00:14:37,559 Man, I could smell you if you were on Mars! When was the last time you took a bath? 221 00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:40,234 - Don't say that word! - What? Bath? 222 00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:46,236 You said it again! Now listen. If you're going to say this word, spell it. 223 00:14:46,236 --> 00:14:50,154 When was the last time you took a B-A-T-H? 224 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,671 What is this? 225 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,720 Yo, Cat... There you are. 226 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,758 - We're going to the disco. - What? 227 00:14:58,758 --> 00:15:02,116 It will take 17 hours to repair the Hop Drive, 228 00:15:02,116 --> 00:15:05,875 so I thought we'd have some... bevvies. 229 00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:08,713 Yeah! Come on! Ouch! 230 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,914 (DISCO MUSIC) 231 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,429 They seem to be making progress. 232 00:15:41,429 --> 00:15:44,512 - Yes. Absolutely. - Oh yes. 233 00:15:44,512 --> 00:15:49,196 - Like a house on fire. - You can repeat it. 234 00:15:49,196 --> 00:15:53,319 Mind you, we're having a good conversation pass here. 235 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,311 Ah, yes, yes. 236 00:15:55,311 --> 00:15:57,391 Absolutely. 237 00:15:57,391 --> 00:16:01,712 Funny. I'm not normally good to talk to the opposite sex. 238 00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:05,190 I'm not. I'm running out of things to say. 239 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,231 Me too. 240 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,031 So, are you a girl? 241 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,394 - Yes. - It's okay. 242 00:16:23,394 --> 00:16:27,758 Wait. Don't you have something in your eye? 243 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,151 You're trying to hypnotize me! 244 00:16:32,151 --> 00:16:35,312 - Of course not. - Stop looking, then. 245 00:16:35,312 --> 00:16:39,871 ALL RIGHT! I read it was great for picking up totty. 246 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,798 Well, I would hardly describe myself as "totty". 247 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:47,995 Oh yes! 248 00:16:47,995 --> 00:16:51,993 Totty, totty... totty. 249 00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:55,993 You drank too much. I become like this. 250 00:16:55,993 --> 00:16:58,310 Come on. You are interested. 251 00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:02,029 - I'm not. - Why are you making signs to me? 252 00:17:02,029 --> 00:17:05,556 - What signs? - Wearing such tight pants? 253 00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:08,916 - They are not tight. - You were begging for it. 254 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:13,793 I'm not "totty" and I don't beg for anything. 255 00:17:13,793 --> 00:17:18,635 Give us a kiss, I won't try to take off your underwear. 256 00:17:18,635 --> 00:17:22,599 I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of... boy. 257 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,517 Cold! 258 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,838 You are disgusting! You're only looking for one thing! 259 00:17:31,838 --> 00:17:34,388 For what? How many do you have? 260 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,591 You are a great conversationalist. 261 00:17:40,591 --> 00:17:44,992 - But I haven't said anything yet... - This is what I prefer. 262 00:17:44,992 --> 00:17:48,629 - Am I going to the bar? - I'll have a grenade. 263 00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:52,030 - A grenade? - Yeah. I want to play fetch. 264 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,392 Listie! How are you, old friend. 265 00:18:00,392 --> 00:18:03,040 Please, God, come join us! 266 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,591 I won't be long. 267 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:13,273 If you want to keep your beer cold, stick it between his legs. 268 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,390 What was it about? 269 00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:21,109 - She is the most horrible woman I have ever met. - It's you. 270 00:18:21,109 --> 00:18:23,191 She is absolutely disgusting. 271 00:18:23,191 --> 00:18:28,877 She treats me like some kind disposable sexual object. 272 00:18:28,877 --> 00:18:33,670 - She is the female equivalent of you. -Nonsense. She is unsuitable. 273 00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:39,153 Trust me to get El Weirdo, while you get the one with the juicy jugs. 274 00:18:39,153 --> 00:18:44,314 See! She thinks of men exactly the same way you think about women. 275 00:18:44,314 --> 00:18:48,439 She accused me of shaking my butt in a provocative way. 276 00:18:48,439 --> 00:18:51,956 I was just walking! I can't help but be sexy. 277 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,473 - How is the other one? - Totally disgusting. 278 00:18:55,473 --> 00:18:58,074 She is incredible. She tried to impress me 279 00:18:58,074 --> 00:19:02,233 drinking six pints of lager, then belching “Yankee Doodle Dandy.” 280 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,390 It's your party piece, isn't it? 281 00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:08,597 Yeah, but when I do it, it's stylish. 282 00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:10,477 (ROUTS) 283 00:19:10,477 --> 00:19:12,357 Classify. 284 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:16,795 - Do you think you'll, uh...? - What? 285 00:19:16,795 --> 00:19:18,871 Get out of town! 286 00:19:18,871 --> 00:19:24,398 She laughs a lot, but everything she does is getting blitzed and eating vindaloos. 287 00:19:24,398 --> 00:19:28,359 Call me crazy, but I don't find it attractive. 288 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:31,796 - How are you? - Put it like this, 289 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:35,714 there will be two pairs of shoes under the bed tonight. 290 00:19:35,714 --> 00:19:37,631 Cut! 291 00:19:37,631 --> 00:19:43,192 He doesn't seem too interested. He looks more, uh... petrified. 292 00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:48,274 He doesn't want me to think It's the boat's bike, but I get the signs. 293 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:54,071 He crossed his legs and made sure I saw that he wore sock suspenders. 294 00:19:54,071 --> 00:19:59,871 - Rimmer, he's not interested. - Wait until I give him the wormdo line. 295 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,791 Hey, do you want to dance? 296 00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:08,273 I tell you, when I get on the dance floor, I'm a bad turkey! Do you dance? 297 00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:12,638 Do I dance? Does Carmen Miranda bear fruit? 298 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,997 All right ! You lead, boy. 299 00:20:16,997 --> 00:20:19,913 Hold it, Fido. 300 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,994 Do you call that dancing? No way, Jose! 301 00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:32,071 It's dancing! 302 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,192 (YELLS) 303 00:20:39,192 --> 00:20:41,271 Well, what do you say, huh? 304 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:49,795 - Ah, huh. Another dead end. - That's eight on the run. 305 00:20:49,795 --> 00:20:53,156 - I want to talk to Holly. - Of course. 306 00:20:53,156 --> 00:20:55,879 Holly, how long until the Hop Drive is repaired? 307 00:20:55,879 --> 00:21:00,272 We're busy fixing it right now, aren't we, Hilly? 308 00:21:00,272 --> 00:21:03,955 Yes, Holly, that's exactly what we do, 309 00:21:03,955 --> 00:21:08,238 - What is this mark on your face? - What face? 310 00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:12,677 - The lipstick brand. - It's a computer eruption, 311 00:21:12,677 --> 00:21:15,433 Holly, get me out of here. 312 00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:18,751 What's the problem? Not having a good time? 313 00:21:18,751 --> 00:21:20,876 A good time?! 314 00:21:20,876 --> 00:21:22,951 List... (CLISSE LA GORGE) 315 00:21:22,951 --> 00:21:26,749 I'm going to bed now, all alone, alone. 316 00:21:26,749 --> 00:21:30,196 If she comes back, say I have a headache. 317 00:21:30,196 --> 00:21:33,875 - Where did she go? - To get sexy videos. 318 00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:37,555 She thinks she sees two men together could excite me. 319 00:21:37,555 --> 00:21:41,679 - Where do you sleep? - I'm not telling you. 320 00:21:41,679 --> 00:21:47,198 - Are you a man or a munchkin? - 321 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,635 Are you ready, then? Okay, after three... Three! 322 00:21:53,635 --> 00:21:55,517 Ha! Beat you! 323 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,994 Oh, did I get drunk or did I get drunk? 324 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,077 Oh no. 325 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:23,159 Oh, did I get drunk or did I get drunk? 326 00:22:23,159 --> 00:22:23,909 Hi. 327 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,473 - Hi. - Listen. Did we...? 328 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,151 I don't remember it. 329 00:22:30,151 --> 00:22:36,429 I remember betting you I could climbing the wall of the nightclub using only my lips... 330 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:42,795 And then... Oh, my God, I juggled the goldfish, didn't I? 331 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,517 Headband. 332 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,837 So... 333 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,990 Ah, huh. We did it, didn't we? 334 00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:53,799 You pieces of filth. 335 00:22:53,799 --> 00:22:57,589 How could you commit an act carnal knowledge...? 336 00:22:57,589 --> 00:23:00,911 ..on my bunk, on my sheets, using my springs? 337 00:23:00,911 --> 00:23:04,151 How could you contemplate make love? 338 00:23:04,151 --> 00:23:07,949 Well, why break a lifelong habit? 339 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,676 Leave it aside! I was out of my head. 340 00:23:12,676 --> 00:23:14,876 What is that supposed to mean? 341 00:23:14,876 --> 00:23:19,351 I wouldn't have slept with you if I had known what I was doing. 342 00:23:19,351 --> 00:23:22,591 - THANKS! - I hope you get pregnant. 343 00:23:22,591 --> 00:23:26,036 No offense, but you're not exactly hard to shoot. 344 00:23:26,036 --> 00:23:28,111 Talk about a breeze! 345 00:23:28,111 --> 00:23:31,954 That's rich coming from Miss Yo-Yo Knickers. 346 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:38,351 I hope you get pregnant, you cheap little slut! 347 00:23:38,351 --> 00:23:41,512 - You what? - How can he get pregnant? 348 00:23:41,512 --> 00:23:45,195 Unless they took precautions, it could be in the beak. 349 00:23:45,195 --> 00:23:49,637 - But it’s women who get pregnant! - Since when? 350 00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:52,951 Always! My mother was a woman! 351 00:23:52,951 --> 00:23:56,112 Oh, Listie! 352 00:23:56,112 --> 00:23:59,476 Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! 353 00:23:59,476 --> 00:24:04,634 If I understood correctly, it seems that in their universe, 354 00:24:04,634 --> 00:24:07,678 It is men who give birth to babies. 355 00:24:07,678 --> 00:24:14,199 As we are in their universe, you could Well maybe be in the duff, mate! 356 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,718 - It's a liquidation. - Don't get angry in your state! 357 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:25,399 It's impossible! I don't have the... the equipment, do I have? 358 00:24:25,399 --> 00:24:29,075 You are in our universe. Our physical law applies. 359 00:24:29,075 --> 00:24:31,958 Holly, tell me that's not true. 360 00:24:31,958 --> 00:24:37,398 - I'm afraid it's,,, Mom, - How can you do this to me? 361 00:24:37,398 --> 00:24:41,314 - Do what? - Fertilize me. Take advantage of me, 362 00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:44,756 knowing that I had no precautions. 363 00:24:44,756 --> 00:24:50,073 I assumed you took care of it. It is man's responsibility. 364 00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:55,439 It is the man who becomes pregnant, who suffers the agony of childbirth. 365 00:24:55,439 --> 00:24:58,717 Agony? It's getting better and better! 366 00:24:58,717 --> 00:25:04,875 - What can I do? I'm sorry okay? - Pardon? Is that it? Pardon? 367 00:25:04,875 --> 00:25:07,155 Wham, bam, thank you, sir? 368 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:12,718 Well, there's no point arguing, If it happened, it happened, 369 00:25:12,718 --> 00:25:15,837 We better get back, I fixed the Hop Drive, 370 00:25:15,837 --> 00:25:19,469 We can't! She could be the father of my child! 371 00:25:19,469 --> 00:25:23,315 - If we don't go now, we're stuck, - Listen... 372 00:25:23,315 --> 00:25:26,836 Just because it is possible for you to get pregnant, 373 00:25:26,836 --> 00:25:29,753 it doesn't necessarily mean you are. 374 00:25:29,753 --> 00:25:31,831 You might get lucky. 375 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,310 But then again, you might not. 376 00:25:40,310 --> 00:25:43,756 We'll know when we get back, won't we? 377 00:25:43,756 --> 00:25:45,911 Hire Holly Hop,,, 378 00:25:45,911 --> 00:25:47,991 Holly Hop engaged, 379 00:25:47,991 --> 00:25:50,913 Four,,,Three,,,One,,,Takeoff, 380 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:01,791 I don't know why I do this. This is simply not possible! 381 00:26:01,791 --> 00:26:04,758 Why not? Male baboons have given birth. 382 00:26:04,758 --> 00:26:09,595 They were doing it this far like the 20th century. Caesarean section, naturally. 383 00:26:09,595 --> 00:26:11,875 (CUT AND NOISES NOISES) 384 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,314 You will be in good hands. Skutters can take care of it. 385 00:26:17,314 --> 00:26:21,598 Skutters?! I wouldn't leave them open a can of beans. 386 00:26:21,598 --> 00:26:24,148 You think too negative! 387 00:26:24,148 --> 00:26:29,439 Think of all that is glorious, beautiful, wonderful things about having children! 388 00:26:29,439 --> 00:26:32,159 - As? - When they leave the house. 389 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:38,071 - What color should it turn? - Blue so as not to be pregnant... which will be the case. 390 00:26:38,071 --> 00:26:40,310 - And red for pregnant? - Yeah. 391 00:26:40,310 --> 00:26:43,198 Come on, reds! 392 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,191 - What color is it now? - Always white. 393 00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:52,957 Oi, remember when we broke the light barrier and saw echoes of the future? 394 00:26:52,957 --> 00:26:56,635 - Yeah. - Your future self had twins, 395 00:26:56,635 --> 00:27:00,759 Right. I said, "How could you get two babies on board?” 396 00:27:00,759 --> 00:27:04,879 And you said, "It'll be a lot of fun to find out." 397 00:27:04,879 --> 00:27:08,953 - How right you were, Listie! - Twins? Certainly not! 398 00:27:08,953 --> 00:27:12,635 Oh yes! They were also big, strong boys. 399 00:27:12,635 --> 00:27:14,711 Huge heads. 400 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,915 - It changes color! - What color? 401 00:27:17,915 --> 00:27:20,150 - It changes! - What color? 402 00:27:20,150 --> 00:27:23,391 - Yes, it changes. - Blue for not pregnant, right? 403 00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:26,040 - Yes! - Oh, great news, Listie! 404 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,078 - Oh, thank God! - I'm going to be an uncle. 405 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,397 ♪ It's cold outside 406 00:27:35,397 --> 00:27:37,277 ♪ There is no atmosphere 407 00:27:37,277 --> 00:27:40,716 ♪ I'm all alone, more or less 408 00:27:40,716 --> 00:27:43,917 ♪ Let me fly away from here 409 00:27:43,917 --> 00:27:46,753 ♪ Fun, fun, fun 410 00:27:46,753 --> 00:27:50,355 ♪ In the sun, sun, sun 411 00:27:50,355 --> 00:27:53,796 ♪ I want to lie, wrecked and comatose 412 00:27:53,796 --> 00:27:57,156 ♪ Drink fresh mango juice 413 00:27:57,156 --> 00:28:00,516 ♪ Schools of goldfish nibble my toes 414 00:28:00,516 --> 00:28:03,273 ♪ Fun, fun, fun 415 00:28:03,273 --> 00:28:07,035 ♪ In the sun, sun, sun 416 00:28:07,035 --> 00:28:09,793 ♪ Fun, fun, fun 417 00:28:09,793 --> 00:28:13,953 ♪ In the sun, sun, sun ♪